Certain "ideals" can help us focus on the future

Question: I am a young person who has been trying to get my act together financially. But sometimes I get pretty discouraged when I see how well off some of my peers are. How can I know if I’m doing well enough?

Answer: Author Dan Sullivan points out that the horizon is the place where the land ends and the sky begins.

The horizon is real, but only in the mind. It is a mental picture that cannot be physically reached.

In the same way, each of us create certain “ideals” that help us focus on the future.

These ideals serve as mental targets that we can use to establish goals, to get ourselves motivated and even to get through some of the hard times life throws at us.

But “ideals” can also be like wet blankets on the fire of our encouragement.

Some of us come from perfectionist homes. When you brought home a report card that had four B’s and a D, guess what got talked about at the dinner table that night? Right, the D.

If by nature or nurture, you ended up as somewhat of a perfectionist, this concept of “the ideal” can really hurt you.

Most perfectionists don’t know when to use the concept of “ideal” and when to set it aside.

You mentioned “some of your peers.” What peers? All of them?

I’ll be not. Unless you have a very unusual group of peers. I know that most of your peers can’t find two cents to rub together, and if they could, those two cents would burn a hole in their pocket before it got spent.

So, you aren’t actually measuring yourself realistically with your peers. You are measuring yourself unrealistically with an ideal composite of your peers – the best of your peers.

And you are conveniently forgetting about their financial faults and shortcomings.

You’ve created a phantom. Very real in your imagination, but if I demanded that you actually introduce me to such a “peer,” you likely could not produce one.

Ideals and phantoms are fine to get us motivated and to start us to setting goals, financially and otherwise.

But when it comes to measuring results, definitely don’t let the phantom in the room!

As Sullivan points out, “Measuring progress against the ideal is an exercise is frustration. Like the horizon, your ideals are always shifting ahead. This creates a constant gap between your accomplishments and your ideal.”

Measure the progress you have made only against the actual goals you have set. Did you hear me? YOUR goals, not the ones others set for you.

Don’t allow a phantom to live your life for you, or dictate how perfect you must be before you can experience the satisfaction of a job well done.

Are you a bit less in debt than you were last year? Did you save some money this year (and didn’t spend it?) Did you learn to discipline your desires to spend what you don’t have (just a little?).

Then you made some progress! You experienced success!

Celebrate it. Enjoy it.

The horizon is beautiful, inspiring…and distant. While lovely to observe, it is not place to live here and now. Lighten up.