Take steps now to avoid leaving a crisis

Question: I am 70-years old and in pretty good health. My own mother only recently passed away. Due to some of the stress we went through with her passing, I want to do what I can to not be a burden on my own children. What things do I need to consider?

Answer: First, consider your children blessed that they have a thoughtful and loving parent who wants to prepare for end-of-life issues before a crisis hits.

The single fastest growing demographic group in the United States is those above 85.

Surveys have shown that two thirds of all Americans would like to live to age 100 and most expect to make it to at least 80. While average life expectancy isn't quite that high, it isn't far off.

Unfortunately, in our desire to "live forever (or at least a very long time)," we can kid ourselves into believing death will never come. I still remember hearing a preacher ask in a booming voice if his congregation knew what the death rate was in his community. After a pregnant pause, he bellowed, "One hundred percent!"

It sort of put things into perspective.

So if we know we'll all terminal sooner or later, and we want to do something to alleviate ourselves and our loved ones from as much turmoil as possible, what things should we make sure to do?

Family issues. Think through long-term housing issues. If you have a large, old home, is that always going to be manageable for you? Should you consider a smaller home that better fits your needs? If needed, would you ever consider an assisted living facility?

Make sure your family knows where all your medical, legal and financial records are kept. You should have a single place (a notebook?) to keep all this.

Medical issues. If you do not already, establish a good relationship with a medical doctor. This needs to be someone you can trust and talk to about difficult healthcare issues. And by all means, if you are not taking care of yourself, start now by getting a physical and advice from your doctor about establishing a healthy lifestyle.

Legal issues. Make sure you have a will and that it is up to date. You may also want a "living will." A living will is a declaration that you do not desire life-sustaining treatment if there is no significant hope of recovery. The recent case of Terri Schiavo showed us all the heartache that can be caused when someone's end-of-life requests are left in question.

A health care power of attorney is designated to grant someone the power to make medical decisions upon your incapacity.

A durable general power of attorney grants the power holder the right to handle property and income decisions. You may also have the power drafted so that it "springs" to life only upon your incapacity. Both a durable general power of attorney and a health care power of attorney are needed.

Financial issues. For all but the wealthiest among us, it is wise to transfer the financial risk of long-term care to an insurance company. This may be done by paying monthly premiums or by placing money on deposit with the insurance company and allowing it to both earn interest and provide for your long-term care insurance.

If you make the financial and investment decisions for your family, it is wise to establish a relationship now with a trusted financial advisor. If you are ever unable to make your own choices, to whom will your family look for that advice? Would you rather them go seeking a good advisor during the storm, or would you prefer to seek that person out yourself now?

End of life issues are delicate, painful and inevitable. Your wise planning now can ease the pain and lose both for you and those you love.